


Two Doves

by sasageyowrites



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Protective Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Reader-Insert, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27898492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasageyowrites/pseuds/sasageyowrites
Summary: You and Levi rarely argue, this time it`s bad and the captain doesn`t know how he can make up for what he has said and how he can explain exactly how he feels about you. LevixFemale!reader
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 120





	Two Doves

**Author's Note:**

> So I have a Tumblr account my account is sasageyowrites and I figured I would upload my work from Tumblr onto here so you fine people can read. This is my most popular one and I will try to get all my fics uploaded on here over the next month, I have a lot and they`re all mostly Levi x reader.

Levi x reader

Summary: You and Levi rarely argue. This time it’s bad and the captain doesn’t know how he can make it up to you after what he had said.

Disclaimer: I don’t own AoT which I am constantly upset about, I don’t own you which I’m not so upset about or the GIF below.

Warnings: slight angst, swearing, sexual references, mentions of death etc

Please don’t repost

You were angry.

In fact scratch that you were absolutely fuming, you didn’t think you had ever been so angry in all your life and it scared you slightly at how frustrated you actually were. Your fists clenched into tight balls your nails digging into the palm of your hands, knuckles turning white. Your jaw was clenched tightly a terrifying glare plastered on your pretty face as you stormed down the corridors your boots thumping against the stone floor, cadets and other scout members scurrying out of you path afraid of being caught up in your wrath.

Your head felt light, white seething malice flashed through your veins causing you to heat up under your leather scout jacket not helping your agitated state, your breathing was rapid your heart beat hammering against your chest.

You couldn’t fucking believe him. You just couldn’t understand why he had done what he did. What the hell made him the dictator of your life? Sure he was your captain and best friend but that was no reason to stoop so low, you were trying to wrap your head around his decision and why he had done it. You didn’t deserve this, after years of service on the scouts, after all the shit you and Levi had been through in the underground and above ground you would have thought he would have allowed you little more room to decide for yourself if you wanted to get into dangerous situations.

You didn’t bother knocking when you reached his door, instead you resorted to slamming it open so harshly it crashed into the wall behind it. Your eyes scanned the captains office to see him sat at his desk, a stack of paper work piled high, his jacket on the back of his chair and a freshly brewed cup of tea on the corner of his desk. Sat in the desk chair was Levi, he didn’t seem surprised upon your rude entry, instead his eyes glanced up from his paper work briefly letting out a ‘tsk’ before continuing to finish the report he was filling out.

“You benched me?!” you growled slamming the door closed again, the room shook slightly Levi’s tea rattling on his desk, he casually reached out to stabilise it not bothering to place his quill down.

“I made a decision to have you out of expeditions for a while, yes.” he replied not letting his gaze rise from the paper.

You growled storming forward to slam your hands on the desk, Levi didn’t even flinch as you glared down at him, his bored gaze still fixated on the paper. You knew he was trying to piss you off even more, you just didn’t know why. You hadn’t done anything wrong that you could recall, you hadn’t started a fight with any of the military police again, you hadn’t impulsively disobeyed any direct orders. So why the fuck where you being punished?

“But why Levi? I didn’t do anything wrong!” you exclaimed, he continued to ignore your presence the scratching of his quill on the paper the only sound as you waited for an answer.

“You aren’t going on any expeditions outside the wall for two weeks that’s all you need to know. My authority shouldn’t be questioned (y/n).”

“That’s bull shit!” you exclaimed slamming your hands down onto the table “there is a reason you just won’t tell me!”

“Yelling at your superior is reason enough.”

“I started yelling at you after you benched me jackass. And you weren’t always my superior, we were tramps in the underground you remember that?” you hissed, your fingers curling tighter into themselves, your glare deepening. Levi stole a quick glance up, his narrowed eyes staring you down unblinking as if daring you to say anything else. You wouldn’t deny you felt a slight hesitation, his dominance beginning to make you back down.

“Well you aren’t helping yourself now are you brat?” he answered still not looking up from his work trying to ignore your comment on the underground, the days when he was truly happy with Isabel, Farlan and you.

He had met you soon after Kenny and left him, the two of you stayed together pickpocketing and trying to survive. Then you had met Isabel and Farlan and you had found a family. As you and Levi grew into teenage hood you being began to feel a magnetising attraction that one night ended up with him on top of you. That was the first night of the endless one nighters you both shared.

You and Levi had an on and off again relationship, some nights spent lying together in each other’s arms then acting as if nothing had happened the next day. It had been like that way before the Survey Corps, but Levi had realised after the death of his sister and brother figures that he had in fact fallen in love with you, you had spent the evening crying into his shoulder, injured but alive and he realised how thankful he was that you were still beside him. He had told himself he wouldn’t let his feelings get in the way but it seemed now with the dangers getting worse and worse, after the fall of Shinganshina, that they had.

“You are so infuriating.” you sneered folding your arms “is this because we made out last week? It’s not like it’s unusual for us to do that Levi you know it’s for pleasure only it’s not something you get to punish me for. Otherwise you should be restricted too.”

“I hadn’t remembered last week until now.” he sighed moving on to a new report, your eye visibly twitched and you began to shake even more with unbridled anger. Levi could see you trembling with rage and he had to hold back a smirk, of course he recalled last weeks little “dance”. How could he forget? Every night with you since it had began was ingrained into his mind, but you could never know that.

“Bastard.” you muttered your scowl deepening.

“Just accept the restrictions (y/n) and get out.” he sighed dipping his quill back into the ink.

That was it. Any authority Levi had over you vanished, you weren’t going to let him punish you for absolutely nothing especially since you were good at what you did. You snatched the paper from under his quill holding it up to the side of your face, one hand on your hip a dangerous scowl sketched into your face trembling slightly with andrenaline, nervous at how out of control your temper had become. Levi set his quill down, leaning back into his chair his eye brow twitched slightly his temper beginning to dwindle.

“I’m not standing for this,” you growled “I deserve to be allowed out there fighting with the rest of my squad! You’re not being fair Levi! I’ll do it anyway, you need me out there with the rest of you. Erwin will understand, you’re just being unreasonable!”

It was then that something in the captain seemed to snap. He didn’t know if it was your angry yelling or his own impatience about the whole situation that made his last nerve break, but before he could stop himself he had bolted up from his chair sending it flying back clattering against the floor, his hands slamming into the desk his tea spilling onto the floor, a dangerous dullness to his eyes as he glared at you through his shaggy black hair. It was then that you realised you had over stepped, you swallowed loudly shrinking back slightly terrified of his angered state.

“You don’t deserve anything.” he spat, his voice in a low growl un like anything you had ever heard from your friend before, you could feel your heart uncontrollably squirm in your chest your legs trembling and eyes watering slightly with tears “you’re arrogant and obnoxious. You never listen to direct orders if you don’t agree with them, you are immature and impulsive. If you want to go back outside these walls then you will begin to behave like a member of the Survey Corps and not like the pretentious brat you are. I knew you would come to me demanding to have the restriction overruled because you expect things to be handed to you, your go lucky attitude may work on Erwin but not on me. You’re a pain the ass (y/n) and my job would be much easier without you. Now you will hand me back that report and leave.”

You could only stare at him, your eyes quivering and bottom lip trembling trying to come up with a counter arguament but words failed you. Your brain was too numb to form sentences, you couldn’t remember how to speak, your head spinning as your heart shattered in your chest his words cutting through your armour and leaving you to bleed. It took a while for your brain to catch up with what was happening just stood there frozen, but once you were aware of what was happening you felt another hot spike of anger. You slammed the report back onto his desk beside turning sharply on your heel and storming out the office slamming the door so hard behind you that some of the older stones in the wall crumbled, clouds of dust falling to the ground stomping down the corridor getting curious but terrified looks from the on lookers.

Boiling anger spiked through your veins, your jaw set into a fine line the glare deepened on your face. You knew you could be reckless, you very often acted before you thought and it usually got you into trouble. You hadn’t thought about Levi and that how would have impacted him. And yes maybe you could stand to be a little more grown up, maybe you should dial down the fighting with other military members and the sass could also be filed back too. But you couldn’t help who you were, you were a go lucky slightly arrogant twat and a lot of people liked that about you, you were never afraid to speak your mind. If Levi wanted you to leave him alone you would, you would stay out of his way and not say another word. You figured it would be difficult considering you were part of Squad Levi, but it didn’t look like you would have to interact much apart from training for the next two weeks so it was possible.

From now on you wouldn’t even acknowledge your captains presence. You would no longer be a “pain in his ass”, you would resort to the cold shoulder. That’s what he seemed to want right? Either way you didn’t care, you were going to show him just how bratty you could be.

Levi watched you tear from his office, the door being slammed so violently he winced as the objects around his office shook for the fourth time that morning. His mind was screaming at him to run after you, to stop you from leaving and to fully explain why he had done what he had. But his own stubborn pride prevented him from moving an inch, his body frozen, his feet glued to the floor as his breathing began to calm down. After a while it finally dawned on him what had just happened, he could hear his own voice in his head the harsh words he had spoken echoing through his mind “pretentious brat” he had called you. You had looked so scared, he hadn’t meant to make you so afraid especially of him. He wanted to erase the image of you shrinking at his temper, he had never wanted to see that look on your face as a result of him. He had hurt people in the past for scaring you when you were both street rats in the underground, he despised himself for becoming like one of them.

He was still angry but this time it wasn’t directed at you: he was angry at himself. He sighed picking up his fallen chair and falling into it rubbing a hand over his forehead hiding his face from the world. Why was he such an idiot? Yes he knew what he had said wasn’t all lies, just exaggerated truths but your personality was definitely not a bad thing and was not the reason for his choice in deciding to bench you. In fact if he was being critically honest he would say the main reason he had lashed out was because he was afraid.

Yes he was very afraid.

Afraid that after everyone else in his life you would also share their same fate. It had been years since that titan had killed Isabel and Farlan, you were the only one to have survived and while that showed your skill set was actually quite impressive, he had used your charisma against you and was now holding you back. It was unfair to let his emotions disrupt your career but the way he saw it was that at the moment he was too vulnerable to lose another member of his family. If he lost you, the woman he harboured feelings for, he wouldn’t know where to go and that thought terrified him. He didn’t like not knowing his own mind well enough to be able to predict how he would react if you died, the reason he had done what he did was to merely put his own mind at ease and he hated how uncharacteristicly selfish it was. But if he could prevent you from being snatched away just even for a mere two weeks more then it would have been worth it, he didn’t care how much you would hate him for it.

…

You sat at the dinner table in the scout diner, a plate of lumpy mash potato infront of you with soggy vegetables and dry chicken just like every night since joint the Corps. Around you sat Eld, Gunther, Oluo and Petra chatting happily amoingst each other, Levi had yet to make an appearance but you weren’t complaining, you were hoping to finish before he arrived. For now you would enjoy the company of your friends.

“So he really won’t let you come on any expeditions outside wall Rose and Maria?” Oluo asked, you shook your head.

“That sucks, our whole dynamic will be thrown off.” Gunther points out “how are we supposed to execute some of our power moves without you?”

“Tell me about it, I don’t know why he’s being such a hard ass.” you grumbled dragging your fork through your mash, the grey lumps squelching under the metal.

“He really said you were a pain in the ass?” Petra asked innocently her brown eyes widening at the thought of her idol using such cruel words against his oldest friend.

“Among other things.” you sighed tossing your fork down onto your tray, trying to stop tears from escaping your eyes, your vision blurring and throat growing dry.

The group looked around the table to eachother their concern evident in their faces. Of course they were aware of yours and Levi’s intimacy, the pair of you weren’t exactly quiet no matter how much you had tried to hide it from them. Of course they all pretended to be ignorant to your scandals for both yours and their own sakes to save the embarrassment. Petra has been slightly upset when she found out you and Levi were on and off again lovers her tiny crush on the captain being shattered. But now they were concerned that their two strongest members would never get along again.

“It’ll be ok (y/n), it’s only two weeks and then you’ll be joining us again.” Eld reassured reaching across the table to give your hand a squeeze, you stared at him through watery eyes a small sniffle escaping you.

“Eld, thank you. At least someone appreciates me.” you mumbled.

“The captain does appreciate you, we all do.” Gunther piped up “you’ve saved each of us multiple times, your strategic and skilled. I’m sure the captain is just trying to discipline you better.”

“But I don’t need disciplinary action.” you growled banging your fist into the table the others raising their brows at your outburst.

“You did try to start a fight with that Garrison member last week.” Petra pointed out, you froze turning to glare at her.

“That was his fault for being a dumbass, he should know that ODM gear is not a toy he shouldn’t have broken his and tried to take mine.”

“(Y/n) this isn’t the underground anymore, you can’t go starting fights with everyone.” Eld sighed and you scoffed leaning back folding your arms “you’re lucky that Erwin and Levi prevented your exclusion.”

“We’re not saying you were in the wrong for standing up to that man, but there are better ways to do it.” Oluo added placing a hand on your shoulder, you sighed cracking a small grin at the man.

“You know something Oluo you’re beginning to sound like Levi.” you muttered, the man turned bright red in excitement a huge grin cracking over his face.

“Really? You really think so?” he asked his eyes wide at the thought of sounding like the man he aspired to be like the rest of thentabke silently chuckling at their friends enthusiasm, you chuckled too.

“Aw you lost it.” you teased taking a sip of water a smirk on your lips, Oluo’s proud posture suddenly deflating as his ego was torn in two.

The others still giggling at Oluo’s expense, you were beginning to feel better about everything the previous aggravation ebbing away as you say laughing with your friends, Oluo tried his best attempt to get back into character, trying and failing to do his best Levi impression and live up to his idol. It didn’t take long before the laughter in your eyes suddenly died down as a tray was placed on the table, opposite from where you sat Levi sitting shortly after he set his tray down.

The table fell into an uncomfortable silence, you hated to do this to your friends but you didn’t want to see him at the moment. You sat there for a minute biting your lip, Levi’s eyes occasionally looking up to meet yours before you took one last swig of water from the wooden cup, standing up picking up your tray and getting ready to move away from the table.

“(Y/n), you can stay.” Petra whispered quietly so only you could hear, her hand clamping over your arm to make you stop, you shook your head.

“It’s ok, I don’t want to.”

“Let her go Petra if she’s going to be immature.” Levi instructed, you felt the breath hitch in your throat at his cold words a small whimper escaping as you bit your tongue to hold back the yells that wanted to escape at his rudeness.

The table watched as you shrugged off Petra’s hand and walked over to the bins setting your tray down and quickly exiting the diner the doors closing behind you. The table turned back to Levi who casually began to eat his food pretending not to be bothered by your cold shoulder. Shit. He had hoped you would have risen to the bait, he knew you would give him some form of punishment for his actions he knew you too well, but it usually didn’t last very long as more insults would be thrown around before the anticipated apologies. It seemed this time, you were really upset.

The table remained silent for a while longer before the others began to converse in quiet conversation about something Levi didn’t care to listen to. His mind too busy working on the ways he could get you to talk to him, he wouldn’t act yet he only expect led this to last till tomorrow your grudges never lasted long and if they did you usually killed the person you had the grudge against. He was hoping you wouldn’t kill him but that was back on the streets of the underground where it was practically culture to end a feud in death but he wouldn’t put it past you either. It stung that you were ignoring him, you rarely got angry with him and it was alien to him to have you act so cold.

He hoped that you would calm down in the morning and just accept your exclusion from two weeks of expeditions.

…

“Pick up the pace!” Levi yelled as you swung through the trees, your ODM gear hissing as grapples and ropes were shot through the air, the wind howling through your hair has your flipped through the trees.

You didn’t know how much faster he wanted you to go. You were already going above the recommended limits the training ODM gear could take, the leather straps pulling against your body as you twisted through the trees your muscular thighs helping you push from surface to surface. The grappling hooks lagging slightly as you increased the speed, your body screaming at you to slow down and allow more air to enter your lungs, your chest tight as a stitch in your side began to form.

“I know you can go faster! I’ve seen you do it brat!” Levi pushed from his position in one of the trees, the rest of the group watching with him, Levi knew he was pushing too hard but you still hadn’t said a word to him since the other day and he just wanted one word to be directed at him, even a cuss would suffice he couldn’t stand you not talking to him.

He kept his eyes trained on you as he watched you increase your speed, he could hear the training gear begin to groan under the speeds it was forced to endure. The training gear was not as developed as the actual ODM gear to save money but they were purposely designed to set limits to the speed so when in actual battle it want as tiering to get to higher velocity, the strain of the training gear created endurance but you were being forced to extend beyond it’s leverage and it was beginning to show in the gear itself, the grapples trajectory becoming more and more off centre.

“Um, Captain the gear isn’t designed for those speeds. If she carried on the grapples will get jammed.” Gunther spoke up, wincing as he watched you fall slightly before carrying on. Levi paid him no mind, his arms folded and jaw clenched took wrapped up in his own thoughts to notice his squads concerns.

It wasn’t until he heard a snap followed by you shrieking that he finally shook himself out of whatever trance he was in. The rest of the group gasped as they watched you plummet towards the ground, Levi quickly jumped into action shooting his own gear into the trees taking off towards you.

It had happened quicker then you were ready for, the grapple you had meant to shoot never came. Instead it made a crunch sound as the gears got jammed leaving you to fly through the air with not grapples to use to swing you onto the next tree. A wave of dread washed over you as you began to plummet towards the ground trying desperately to launch your hooks but they didn’t want to work, the wind falling right by you as you continued towards the ground multiple branches clawing at your skin as you crashed through the trees. Your stomach somersaulting in fear, your eyes squeezing shut your body bracing for impact waiting to hit the forest floor.

Instead you heard the sound of ODM gear and before you knew it a pair of muscular arms as security wrapped around your body pulling you into a firm chest. You peeled your eyes open to stare up at Levi, his eyes staring dead ahead, his ebony hair whipping around his eyes as he launched towards the nearest tree his arms right around your shaking form, the others close behind.

Levi grunted as he roughly landed on the forest floor, his arms remaining around you as he helped you stand your legs wobbling slightly from the adrenaline of the fall. Both of Levi’s arms wrapped securely around your waist as you were pushed into his chest, you could feel his toned abdomen and pectorals through his white shirt, his heart beat drumming in your ear as he kept you in his arms his nose burying slightly into your hair as he breathed a sigh of relief, thankful you hadn’t been hurt.

“Are you ok?” Levi asked, his voice unusually soft with a slightly tremble to it. You wanted to thank him, you really did, but you weren’t ready to talk to him yet, you didn’t even know why you were still stood in his embrace. You pulled away roughly from his grip, keeping your gaze on the ground, Levi’s eyes widened slightly his mouth opened as if he was about to say something his arms now by his sides.

You didn’t reply, instead you turned your back on him beginning to pull off your gear, the leather straps sliding through your fingers as you let it fall to the floor with a soft clank. Levi remained silent as he watched you bend down to pick it up, his heart breaking slightly as you began to walk away, silent tears running down your cheeks. The others had now landed behind their captain, watching the scene unfold not daring to get in the middle of it as you continued to walk away from them back towards the HQ to get your cuts cleaned.

“You’re just going to let her go?” Oluo breathed as Levi kept his gaze on your retreating form before turning his gaze to the ground a frown on his face.

“Tch. It’s not like she can carry on training with fucked up gear.” he muttered letting his gaze fall on the group his expression the same as ever “get moving, I want to see you improving.”

“Yes sir,” they chorused taking back into the air, Levi looked back to where you had disappeared.

“Shit.” he growled shaking his head before following his team. He didn’t know how long this would go on for but he was already getting sick of it. He could still feel his bruised feelings at your rejection to his touch, you had never done that before.

After training he had dismissed the others telling them to get some lunch, it was Titan clean up afterward and he needed them energised enough to be able to cut back the titans that had gotten too close to Wall Rose, there weren’t many but it still needed sorting. You had quickly left with the others before Levi could stop you, you already knew you had stable duty and with the other horses out on the Titan clean up it would be easier to muck out.

After lunch you said good bye to the squad as they mounted their horses before exiting the gates galloping off towards wall Rose. You didn’t bother saying goodbye to Levi, instead you had chosen to glare at the ground as he rode by missing the pained glint in his eyes as he rode through the gates before pulling his emerald hood over his head and clicking his horse up the road the gates closing behind him.

You sighed before heading over to Squad Levi’s stabled where your own horse stood in his stall, his desperate snorts to join his friends causing you to smile as you walked over to his stall gently running a hand done his grey nose and patting his neck. He lowered his elegant head, his huge ears perked up in excitement and hope that he would get to go out, you felt bad that you cousins that take him out, he enjoyed outings. You walked over to him and began to let him, his silky grey fur soft under your fingers.

“Sorry boy but you’re going to have to watch me muck out. I know it sucks for me too. If only Levi wasn’t such a dictator right?”

He only snorted burying his nose into your chest, you chuckled patting his neck once more before turning away. Your eyes landed on your saddle and bridle that hung in the tack room next door and a thought crossed your mind. It wouldn’t take long to tack up your horse and get your ODM gear on, maybe you could catch up to the others. No. Then you really would be in rouble.

Instead you grabbed his head collar pulling it over his face and leading him into the court yard turning him outside the stables giving him a hay net to munch on as you got to work cleaning each stall and refilling the hay and water. You didn’t know how long you worked for before you heard the shouts from the scouts and the gates opening the sound of horse hooves clopping against the cobbles floors, your own horse releasing a whinny as his friends returned.

You finished slinging the last hay net up through the ring, your white breeches covered in shavings and muck, your muscles aching from all the heavy lifting of water buckets and wheel barrows full of horse shit. Pieces of straw sticking out from your hair and your boots filled with freezing water, looking around you decided you were pleased with the job. You figured you’d take your horse to the field to run for a while before the others finished untacking their horses.

After putting the last few tools away you untied your horse pulling him around to direction of the field, his head bobbing up and down beside your body as you walked him away from the stables. Deciding to look at where your squad was you stole a glance towards them, you could make out Oluo, Eld, Gunther and Petra laughing about something as they groomed their horses, you couldn’t spot Levi or his horse and you felt a sudden rush of anxiety that he had not come home. But then the others wouldn’t look so happy.

Deciding not to ponder it you softly cooed to your gelding, his dapple grey coat gleaming in the setting sunlight the sky cast into pinks and reds as the orange sun sunk below the mountains in the distance. You came to the horses field walking along the side path to near the gate as you ran your fingers through his silvery mane your animal’s pace picking up as he saw the lush green fields, you chuckled at his excitement and patted him on the neck.

“Nearly there boy not long now before…” you trailed off as you spotted Levi stood in the field, his black horse stood infront of him as the short man reached up to stroke his horses soft nose before sliding the head collar off and letting the beast gallop off into the field.

Levi stood watching his steed run off his hooves thundering into the ground spraying dirt everywhere. He huffed in amusement before turning around, his body freezing slightly when he saw you avoiding his gaze opening the gate to the field and leading your horse to where he stood. You kept your eyes on the ground, trying to focus on the mud beneath your feet where the horses had churned the grass into puddles and mess.

You came to stand a little ways from Levi, bringing your horse to stand in front of you patting his neck before unbuckling his brown head collar letting it slip from his face trying to ignore Levi’s gaze that pierced through you. Once the head collar had slipped from your horses face he took off after Levi’s the ground shaking as your steed got father and father away. You stood there for a moment watching yours and Levi’s horses begin to groom eachother, a soft breeze flying though your hair causing goosebumps to crawl over you, the warmth from the dying rays of the sun chasing the chills away, two white birds flying through the pink and peach sky.

“(Y/n).”

You jumped slightly at Levi’s voice cursing yourself as you brought your head up to look at him. You felt your heart lurch at the sight of him, his unsmiling face present as ever but his eyes…oh his eyes. They seemed to duller, glazed over with a sadness you hadn’t seen in anyone before a type of disparity. It made your chest ache to see the loneliness in your best friends silver eyes. You could remember a time when he had smiled more, when you, Isabel, Farlan and him had been a small family trying to survive in the underground.

Those days of youthful bliss seemed so far away now, the nights spent laughing about unimportant shit and drinking. The years of finally feeling like you had belonged somewhere, your own parents having abandoned you long ago leaving you cold and alone. Being with your friends had filled a hole in your heart you didn’t know you had, Levi had given you moments of pure satisfaction and lust which eventually led to you catching feelings for him which you had suppressed. After the death of Isabel and Farlan he had shut himself away from you, creating barriers you had struggled to break. But after he had snapped at you, after he had dismissed you so harshly you knew he was no longer the man you had known in the underground. And that broke you.

“Shit. Just. Please…please talk to me.” he rasped, his eyes brimming slightly with salty tears, his voice cracking as the wind ruffled his hair. You felt your own tears run down your cheeks, your eyes damp as your heart pounded in your chest.

You opened your mouth inhaling getting ready to respond, Levi’s eyes seemed to light up at the sight of you about to talk to him but you instantly closed it again. Levi’s elated gleam quickly vanished replaced with the same sadness from before, you glared at him shaking your head turning your back on him once again and leaving him standing in the field, a tear escaping his sorrowful eyes and rolling down his cheek.

The two white birds from earlier still soaring high in the sky.

…

You groaned to yourself as you neared his office cleaning supplies in hand and your hair pulled back into a messy bun. Today was the fifth day of having ignored Levi, you had to admit you were proud of how well you had done. Not proud but more…you didn’t know how to describe it. You had spent the nights crying into your pillow cursing your stubbornness, you wanted to go and see Levi, to curl into the covers with him and feel his lips press against yours and trail down your neck, you longed to have him panting over you his hands running over your athletic body. You shivered at the thought of it a small hitch in your breath as you continued to reminisce about the intimacy between you and Levi. You would be foolish to say you hadn’t fallen in love with him, you had known him for your whole life and was the first and only man to give yourself too but after Isabel and Farlan it had seemed inappropriate to make things official. Then he had become captain and his responsibilities became more important then you, sometimes you wondered if he was only using you for the sex but you had tried to convince yourself he would never do that to you.

You had to admit though, he was a sneaky bastard for giving you cleaning in his office while he was still there. You were anxious at what would happen. Would he berate you even more? Would he guilt you further into trying to talk to him? You knew you would break if he did, you knew that it was inevitable that you would forgive him if he tried to make you talk. You missed him, but you weren’t angry anymore, you never where angry you were hurt that your best friend and lover had lashed out like that. The two week probation was not the thing that bothered you when you had left the office five days ago, it was his knowledge of your flaws and how well he had pointed them out.

To have someone you loved as much as Levi point out your faults killed you and you were ashamed.

Pushing any anxiety to the back of your mind you reached up and knocked on the door biting your lip, your fingers trembling as you clutched the dusters and brooms to your body, nerves eating away at you.

“Name and business.”

Shit.

“It’s me.” you spoke “I’m here to do the cleaning you wanted me to do.”

There was a slight pause and you wondered if he had died from a heart attack at hearing your voice directed at him for the first time in just under a week. But no, the lock clicked open and the door was opened to reveal the captain, you slipped past him and set the cleaning supplies down as Levi closed the door you froze when you heard the lock click spinning around to face him as he tucked the key under his white ascot, the material around his neck concealing your one escape. You growled as he say himself into his office chair beginning his paperwork he had her to finish.

“You can start by the windows and work your way around. If I find one trail of dust your starting again.” he instructed as he dipped his quill in the ink pot on his desk beginning to drag it along the parchment before him. You nodded and set to work, reaching into the warm water in the bucket for the sponge, wringing it out and standing up to slide it across the window the glass squeaking as the smears were wiped away.

You didn’t say anything as you continued to clean the captains office, you were too focused on tying to expel every dust particle you could find to avoid having to stay any longer then needed. You worked quietly, sweeping the floors and dusting the book shelves gradually beginning to get faint dust marks smeared all over your breeches and shirt. Levi would occasionally glance up from his paper work to see you either bent over on the floor scrubbing a stain or reaching as high as you could to dust the top of the book shelves, your shirt riding up slightly to reveal your toned stomach. Levi curled his toes in his boots at the sight of you bending and stretching all over his place of work, his writing grew more furious as he tried not to sneak lustful looks in your direction. He had been deprived of your company for five long days, for five days he had gone without so much as a smile from you and it killed him. He wanted to have the same intimacy with you, the same banter and deep conversations, the same nights lying you curled up in his bed as he watched you sleep next to him admiring every detail on your face the same way he had since he was a teenager in the underground, back then it had been agreed that the sex was casual just for the amazing feeling you gave eachother but over time Levi knew he was falling hard. He wanted to hear your laugh and run his hands over your trim body, anything to show him that you still cared for him. He wanted to be a stupid kid again breaking the laws with his friends, when his whole world was just Isabel, Farlan and you. If he didn’t fix this conflict between now he didn’t know if he ever could.

You didn’t know how long you had spent cleaning Levi’s office, but your back was beginning to ache with a dull pain making it uncomfortable to carry on bending over, your shoulders screaming at you to cease the repetitive scrubbing as you continued to dust under the bottom of the arm chair that stood in one corner of the room. You refused to stop just wanting to leave, your hair was beginning to come loose from it’s messy bun strands of hair falling into your eyes which you tried fruitlessly to pull behind your ears.

As you stood up from the floor you released a muffled gasp as your heavy joints made small cracking sounds relieving some of the pent up tension in your protesting muscles. You only had one more window left to do before you could leave and go about your day, picking up the bucket of slightly dirtied water you made your way over to the window ignoring Levi as he took a sip from his tea cup in his unusual way.

As you ran the sponge over the smudged glass you allowed your tiered eyes to stare through the glass. The window was positioned just above the courtyard giving you a clear view of the returning scouts from the previous outing, they stumbled through the gates clearly exhausted from having to suffer the ordeal of fighting titans. Some of them were covered in their own blood, some bandaged up, some unable to walk and lying brutally injured in the wagons and some were covered over by a white sheet lain side by side in the last wagons never to be heard from again, left to rest peacefully their duty served to humanity.

You decided to look away from the procession of soldiers, it was too painful to watch resurfacing horrific memories of your own from failed missions and injured comrades. Instead you looked up towards the sky, your eyes widening at what your gaze fell upon your hand you were using to wipe the window slowing to a halt as you stared, unable to look away.

Perched on the opposite turret to Levi’s window was two white birds, similar to the ones that had been present back in the horse field. You felt the breath hitch in your throat, the sponge dropping from your hand to the floor causing Levi to break his attention from his paperwork to see if you were ok.

You continued to stare out the window, the feeling of unwelcomed nostalgia numbing your mind as you watched the birds preen eachother their small beaks ruffling their feathers as they gently nipped eachother yoir eyes sparkling with tears that threatened to escape as your mind pulled you back into unwanted territory. A few days after Isabel and Farlan’s death two white birds had soared through the sky above you and Levi during a scouting mission. Levi had told you that those two birds you had seen were the souls of your two fallen friends, you knew he was only trying to grant you closure but it had been nice to believe your two friends were somehow still by your side looking out for you.

You hadn’t thought about those birds for years, but seeing these ones staring back at you from their position on the turret made you crumble slightly as you realised that your falling out with Levi was not what your friends would have wanted. You knew Isabel would be quick to scold both of you for being so irrational and that Farlan would have made you and Levi make up by force. It made your heart ache to reminise about your friends love for you, they were no longer here to guide you and it hadn’t fully hit you until now that ignoring Levi was the same as dancing on your friends graves, he was apart of your life with them, apart of your past and you couldn’t shut him out.

You loved him.

A soft whimper escaped your lips quickly bringing a hand up to your face to stifle the sobs that threatened to escape. You heard Levi get up from his chair and make his way over to you, it wasn’t long before his face appeared in the reflection of the window beside your own, you could see the concern in his eyes. He wanted so desperately to pull you into an embrace, but he didn’t want the same rejection as what had happened in the forest he didn’t think he could handle it again. Usually he would never care what anyone thought about him, but you were his oldest friend and his longest love so of course he cared about your opinion more then anyone’s.

He had seen the two birds you were staring at and knew exactly what was going through your mind. He felt his own heart ache slightly, he missed them too. This argument was foolish and he would put his own pride aside.

“I’m sorry.”

Levi’s eyes widened.

“What did you say?” he asked, you sighed and turned around folding your arms after wiping the tears from your face.

“I’m sorry Levi. I’m sorry I get on your nerves, I’m sorry I get into trouble, I’m sorry about all of it. If you wanted me out of your way you should have just said something earlier. I know I can be a pain sometimes but I can’t help it. I see the world here that we live in now and my mind can’t help but think we’re still in the underground even after all these years. I forget my place sometimes and I’m sorry. So I’ll leave now.” you avoided his gaze, instead you pushed past making his way towards the door not bothering with the cleaning supplies.

“Oi.” Levi called out from his position by the window, one hand in his trouser pocket the other gestured for you to stop. You did stop, but you didn’t turn around you were waiting to cry out in the corridor you didn’t want to him to see you cry again, you braces yourself for what he was going to say next. “I’m sorry too…”

“You are?”

“Will you let me finish (y/n)?”

“Sorry.”

“Tsk.” he tutted a small smile playing on his lips at your amusing over eagerness “that day that Isabel and Farlan died you know more then anyone how upset I was, I thought had lost the only three things in the world I had ever cared about. But then you called out my name, I can still remember the relief I had felt when I found you lying on the ground. I wouldn’t have asked for anything more then to have at least one of you alive and I’m glad it was you.”

“What are you saying?” you ask, your voice cracking as you close your eyes to hold back the overwhelming urge to cry “that you would rather have me alive then the others? Why? You said it yourself I make your life difficult so why are you saying these things now?”

Levi sighed as he ran a hand through his hair the ebony locks bouncing back around his eyes the moment he let them go. He was going to say what had been in his mind for most of his life, if he didn’t confess to you he knew he would never get an opportunity like this again and he’d lose you.

“It’s because I love you (y/n).”

Your body seemed to stop working for a moment. Did you hear him correctly? He loves you? You spin around to see him staring at you intently, his lips set into a straight line his body tense slightly as if waiting for the most brutal beat down imaginable, his sharp jaw moved slightly as if he was grinding his teeth against the other something you knew he only did when he was very nervous.

“I love you too.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

There was a comfortable silence that fell over the two of you, Levi sat down in his chair leaning his head back against the top of the back of it, closing his eyes releasing what seemed to be a sigh of relief. You weren’t quite sure what to do now. Just leave? No. No. That was a stupid idea. Should you say something else? No. No. That was probably a stupider idea considering how blunt you both could be. Instead you made your way slowly across the room, Levi let one eye open to watch you as you stood above him. He raised an eyebrow as a bright pink dusted your cheeks as you lowered yourself onto his lap, he visibly tensed and you were about to jump straight off when his arms looped themselves around your waist holding you there.

Why were you both so nervous? You had done more then sit on this lap. You had done a lot more. But you had never both confessed to loving each other, before it had been just assumed fun and games. You had interpreted that Levi was not romantically involved with you and vice verser, it seemed so obvious now why he had continued the on and off again one nighters that occurred almost weekly. He didn’t want you for your body and satisfaction, he was looking for an excuse to spend extra time with you and enjoy your company. You beloved this theory because you had done the same.

You slowly leaned into him resting your head on his shoulder as he kept his arms securely around you promising not to let you fall. His own head was resting against the top of yours his breaths from his noise ruffling your hair slightly, you didn’t mind as you ran your fingers over his body feeling the well developed muscles beneath.

“How long have you known?” you asked softly, letting your hand rest behind the back of his neck letting your fingers run through his undercut.

“The day Isabel and Farlan passed. Shit timing I know, but I knew I was falling for you after our first night together. It was only on that day when you called out to me that I realised I felt the way I did. What about you?”

“I’ve loved you since we were seventeen. But then shit hit the fan almost everyday and there was never any good time to tell you how much I loved you. Then Isabeland Farlan left us and I never bucked up the courage to tell you.”

Levi nodded his hand gently running up and down your back the other playing with your fingers. You stole a look up at him Beiderbecke your eyes landed on the desk where his paperwork was all but finished and another question crossed your mind.

“Levi?”

“Hm.”

“Why did you put me on probation? Is there a real reason?” you asked your eyes searching his face for any change in expression, you were unlucky as all he did was sigh and gently nod his head.

“I wanted you out of the field because I needed peace of mind that you weren’t in any danger for some time. You are a pain in my ass and you do make my job difficult but not for the reasons you think. You’re a pain because I can’t concentrate on my own survival because I constantly worry about yours and it was driving me insane. Then that damn wall Maria fell and the world suddenly got more dangerous and I needed a break from my fears that you one day you wouldn’t come home with me. That’s why.”

“So long story short you were worried about me too much and it was distracting you.”

“Tch, well when you put it that way it doesn’t sound as meaningful.”

You giggled softly. You knew Levi was protective over you he always had been, he often stayed close to you when outside the walls and he scowled at anyone who rubbed him the wrong way and got talking to you. You figured it was just Levi being Levi, just being stand offish and shrewd you knew he was protective of Isabel too but you had never noticed a difference until now. Unlike Isabel, Levi would sometimes pull you closer to him in a large crowd so as not to lose you. You had through it was to prevent you from getting into a fight.

“It killed me you know?” you whispered, he looked down at you confused slightly before you continued “it killed me to ignore you. I felt like such a cruel person for doing it but I was hurt by your words. I know you were hurt too I could see it.”

“Tch, of course I was dumbass. But I was more afraid of losing you then I was upset about being ignored so I dealt with it. I missed your dry wit and stupid laugh, your my best friend and I need you with me. You’re all I have left.”

You nodded as Levi bent down to press his lips to your hair as you nuzzled deeper into his neck not feeling the need to say anything else. He loved you and that was enough.

You didn’t realise at the time, but the two white birds were still perched outside, watching with knowing eyes through the window.

…

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**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this, like I said It`s my most popular on Tumblr so I figured I would upload it first. If you liked this then keep an eye out cause I have loads more to upload. If you can`t wait for me to upload them then check out my Tumblr account sasageyowrites. Thanks for reading xx


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